50/50 Life

Cancer will bring pain and misery, but accepting that this is just part of life’s contrast will bring us some peace.

Expecting Life To Always Be Good

Somehow we grow up expecting that we should always feel good.  Don’t cry, we are taught as kids. Or just “be happy.” However, this false narrative has set us up for unrealistic expectations. When life is not good, then we feel extra bad. We feel bad because of what is happening and we feel bad because we feel like it shouldn’t be this way.

Watching My Husband In Misery

My husband is undergoing treatment for stage IV cancer and recently was in such pain it was heartbreaking to see him. He was weak and could hardly walk or speak. I remember thinking that he has had his fair share of pain, why does he have to suffer more? I was miserable seeing him this way and constantly thinking that it shouldn’t have to be so hard!

Acceptance

Once I stopped wishing the circumstance was different and just accepted that this is the painful part of his journey some of my misery lifted. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feel good about seeing him in pain, but I stopped trying to argue with it. This was our reality right now and maybe this is how its supposed to be. This thinking allowed me to accept it instead of trying to resist it so much.

50% Pain / 50% Pleasure

Life is not supposed to be pleasure and joy all the time. Life is supposed to include sadness and suffering. They are what make joy and happiness possible. Half of life will be great and the other half will suck. It is this contrast that makes our experience as human beings complete. When you remember this contrast, it will enable you to stop resisting the part of life that sucks. When we resist the painful part of life, we actually make our experience worse. Accepting that it’s just the 50% part that sucks and it will pass will actually bring you some peace.

Which Half Are You In?

Ask yourself which half of life are you in right now, the painful part or the sucky party?  If it’s the latter, then remember the contrast of life and stop resisting. Life will include both experiences and that is how it should be.

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3 thoughts on “50/50 Life

  1. My husband has pancreatic cancer. He has endured so many treatments an surgery. He had a couple of not sucky months w/o treatments but the cancer showed up again and has spread. He has begun a very strong regimen of 4 different types of chemo and it is horrible. He’s in more pain and sick and extremely weak. It’s so difficult to watch and I can do little to make it better. It breaks my heart. I am a strong person but I am so afraid I’m loosing him a little more each day…

  2. Patricia,
    It is difficult to watch someone you love suffer. I know this well. Sometimes, I find it helpful to ask myself: what am I thinking that is causing me to feel so sad? This helps me to remember that it is my thoughts causing my emotions and not actually the circumstance of my husband condition. Doesn’t mean you have to change how you feel, but asking yourself this question helps you to become the observer of your mind and will lessen the impact of your emotions.

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