Your husband may be the one with cancer, but you deserve love and compassion as well.
You probably have an ideal image of how you should be as the wife of someone with cancer. It surely includes being strong, loving, caring, and understanding. The reality is that while you are all of those things, you aren’t that way all the time. The other half of the time you feel frustrated, tired, irritable, emotional and anything but strong. Then you judge yourself for feeling that way. You may not even do this out loud, but in the back of your mind feel guilty or like you should be better.
I’m So Over This!
Lately I’ve been thinking about how done I am with the treatment schedules, dealing with the endless insurance bills, all of life revolving around cancer.
When I start wanting to judge myself for feeling this way, I remind myself that these are just thoughts. They don’t mean anything about me as a person.
Observe Yourself With Love and Compassion
Where we get into trouble is when we judge ourself for how we think. Many thoughts may feel comfortable and natural only because we have thought them so many times. They are simply engraved neural pathways in our brain.
When you know that, you can stop judging yourself for wanting your life to be different. Instead, just observe the thoughts you are having. Notice them and know this is just what our brain does.
Have love and compassion for yourself! Self judgement will do nothing but make you feel worse. When you feel bad, you will have nothing to give yourself, let alone others.
This is the kind of work I help my clients with. It can be difficult to get our of your own head. A coach can be a big help. Click here to schedule a consult and see how I can help.