You are so grateful your family is there for you and your husband while you deal with his cancer. But they are also driving you crazy!
Family, God Bless ‘Em
When dealing with our husband’s cancer, we often end up relying on our family more than we’ve ever needed to before. Having family to support you and your husband in all the ways you need it is a wonderful thing. It can also bring its own frustrations and challenges.
Family members sometimes feel the need to criticize and critique all the things you are doing or decisions you’ve made. They want to tell you all the things you should be doing. Or comment on all the things you should have done but didn’t. They want all the details and to fully understand what the doctors are saying. While it may be well-meaning, it is usually the last thing you want to hear.
Just Support Me
I have done this myself with my husband and his cancer. I get so caught up in trying to handle everything, or fix the problem that I forget to just be with him and support him. This is usually what he wants most from me. It is the same with our family members. What we want most is love, support, and understanding – not suggestions or opinions.
Take A Deep Breath And Stop Trying To Control
Remember the manual? It’s when we have instructions for how we want others to behave so we feel better. We have a manual in our head for how we want our family members to behave and it would be so much easier if they just complied!
So when you find yourself getting frustrated with your family’s well meaning opinions, take a deep breath and remember that they are who they are. Of course they are going to say things that drive you crazy. You can’t control them any more than they can control you or you can control your husband and his cancer. It doesn’t mean you don’t request that they support you in the way you’d like. However when you free yourself of the outcome, you will have so much more peace.
Sign up for a free mini-session and I will help you identify and work on your manual for those in your life.