We often feel we are at the effect of the world around us. But what if I told you that was not at all true….
Do you sometimes feel powerless? Like a victim? Like the world has conspired against you?
Most people feel like that periodically, but when you are dealing with your loved one’s cancer it can feel like that a lot of the time.
The Concept That Changed My Life
I remember when I first learned that it is our thoughts that create our feelings. My husband and I were driving down to the bay area for an early morning appointment with a specialist oncologist at Stanford Hospital. We had been arguing and while he drove, I tried to sleep. That is when he discovered The Life Coach School podcast that would change both of our lives. Just listening to it on the way down got him out of his bad mood. Later we both started listening to all of the episodes. That is when I learned that it was not what was happening to me that was causing my misery, but my thoughts about what was happening to me.
Our Thoughts Cause Our Results
What I learned from The Life Coach School is that there are things that happen in our lives and these are called circumstances. All circumstances are just neutral until we have thoughts about them. It is then our thoughts that cause our feelings, which drive our actions and create our results.
We call this The Model because it expresses the inter-relationship between our thoughts and the results in our lives. It shows us that it is not what happens in our life, but rather how we think about what happens in our life that matters most.
The Model is simply this:
Circumstances – Thoughts > Feelings > Actions = Results
C: Represents the circumstances in the world and in our life – they are the facts and they are completely neutral.
T: We then have thoughts about those circumstances.
F: Our thoughts are what cause our feelings.
A: Our feelings drive the type of actions we take.
R: Which then gives us the results in our life.
Knowing this relationship is almost like knowing the secret to the universe. When you understand how they drive each other, you can start to observe your own thoughts and see why you are getting the results in your life. So it is not in fact the cancer, or the doctor bills, or even the pain that is causing how you feel. It is your thoughts about those things.
Stay tuned because in the coming weeks I will address each element of the model and how it relates to your situation in dealing with cancer.