How we get everything in life is by the actions we take. How do we get ourselves then to take the right actions?
Is there something you’ve been putting off?
calling the insurance company
scheduling a doctor appointment
Or maybe there are things you are doing but would like to stop.
drinking a few too many glasses of wine
getting into your kids Oreo cookies
binge watching Netflix during the work week
After my husband’s surgery to remove a brain tumor and when we discovered his earlier cancer had metastasized, we knew we were going to need financial help. We had talked about and decided on asking for help by setting up a GoFundMe site. It was easy enough to agree we needed to do this, however we didn’t take any action on if for weeks. Neither of us wanted to actually ask for help, so instead we stressed about not having the money while doing nothing to change our situation.
I decided to discuss this problem with my life coach. She helped me to see exactly why I wasn’t taking any action. I realized that at the root of it, I was afraid to be vulnerable. I was raised to be independent and self sufficient and I kept thinking that I shouldn’t have to ask for help. We should be able to take care of this ourselves.
Once I uncovered the reason for my resistance was my fear of being vulnerable, I was able to really look at my thoughts around it. When it really came down to it, I felt that being willing to be vulnerable requires great bravery and I believed I could be brave. Within the week I started the GoFundMe campaign and we were amazed at the help we received.
It Really Is All About Your Thoughts
The reason behind all of our actions always come down to our thoughts. They are the reason behind everything we do in life.
Over the last several posts I’ve discussed the relationship between what happens in the world and our thoughts, feelings, actions, and emotions. We call this the model:
circumstance – leads to thought > causes a feeling > drives an action = creates a result
What we think about will create a feeling. That feeling will fuel an action or lack of action. Every time I thought I shouldn’t have to ask for help I felt vulnerable. Being vulnerable was not a comfortable emotion for me, so I avoided it at all costs.
I had to first uncover that thought and the feeling it caused in me to be able to move past it and do what I really wanted to do which was start a GoFundMe campaign.
What Are You Putting Off?
I want you to ask yourself what it is you are putting off. What actions have to been avoiding? Is it the phone call to your mother in law giving an update on your husband? Is it having a conversation with your kids about chemotherapy? Is it asking your neighbors for help around the house?
Figure out what you are not doing, then ask why. This is a powerful question and will help you uncover what thoughts are stopping you from doing what you need or want to do.
What am I thinking that is causing me not to take action on this?
Next, I’ll address the final part of the model which is results, so stay tuned!
Read my previous posts on the model, circumstances, thoughts and feelings.
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