How To Get What You Really Want

We all want better results in our lives.

We want more money, better body, better health, better job. How do we get these things? The answer to that question is often a list of actions. Want more money? Save more. Want a better body? Eat healthy and work out. Want better health? Take better care of yourself. Want a better job? Get more education.

It all seems simple enough, yet we know its not otherwise we would have all those things. And then there is the things you want that you may not know how to get. Like wanting to not yell at your kids, or wanting to be cancer free.

Be Cancer Free

My husband’s cancer is somewhat rare. The standard treatment is massive doses of one of three chemotherapy drugs. That is the course we took when he was first diagnosed. It was horrible and ultimately ineffective. When we learned his cancer had come back, we knew we wanted to be open to other solutions. The doctors we saw didn’t have solid answers for us. We kept focusing on the RESULT we wanted. We wanted my husband to be cancer free.

Work In Progress

Some might think it is unrealistic to have such a result in mind. Especially when we had no idea how this was going to happen. In actuality, keeping our minds focused on the result allowed us to be open to solutions that may come from places we were not expecting. It has helped us to make decisions along the way. And while it’s still a work in progress, keeping focused on the result can also provide comfort when it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the unknowns.

Starting With The Result

For the last several posts I’ve been discussing the components of The Model which expresses the inter-relationship between our thoughts and the results in our lives. It shows us that it is not in fact what happens in our life, but rather how we think about what happens in our life that matters most.

Circumstances – Thoughts > Feelings > Actions = Results

C: Represents the circumstances in the world and in our life – they are the facts and they are completely neutral.

T: We then have thoughts about those circumstances.

F: Our thoughts are what cause our feelings.

A: Our feelings drive the type of actions we take.

R: Which then gives us the results in our life.

In The Model, the result is the final part of this relationship. This is important to understand because it shows us that what we ultimately have in our life is driven initially from our thoughts. When you look at the flow from top to bottom, it is also apparent that most advice on getting better results only focuses on the actions. While that can work, it is often not lasting. Changing your thought is how you will bring about lasting change.

Another approach which is super helpful when you don’t know the actions is focusing first and foremost on the result. That is what we do when we set goals. Often our brain freaks out because we want to know exactly how we are going to get there. That’s totally normal. Just don’t let it stop you. You can figure out the how – what is most important is to find a thought that will drive and inspire you toward that result.

What Result Do You Want?

What is it that you want in your life? Why don’t you have it now? The answer to that question should uncover a thought, NOT the actions you aren’t taking.

Read my previous posts on the model, circumstancesthoughts, feelings, and actions.

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