Listening and being listened to. What a wonderful gift.
As a care giver we can get so immersed in the doing of all the things that it may be easy to overlook one simple way of giving support. Just listen.
Or, perhaps it is you who need to be listed to. How many family members or well meaning friends offer up advice and opinions when all you want is just to be heard?
This poem so beautifully expresses the importance of just listening. Feel free heed it and share it.
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, instead, please listen.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, remember I just need you to be patient, compassionate and understanding.
When I ask you to listen to me, and you try to solve my problems, it may seem strange, but I need to find my own solutions.
Please just listen! All I ask is that you listen, not talk or do… just hear me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself; remember, I’m not helpless — maybe discouraged and struggling, but I am capable.
When you can accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then you will no longer need to be convinced and I will find it easier to get about this business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. When that’s clear, the answers will be obvious.
Irrational feelings make more sense when we understand what’s behind them – past experiences, incomplete communications, unresolved emotional expressions, etc…
So please listen and just hear me.
When you need someone, I’ll listen to you.