The importance of grieving what you’ve lost before you move on.
When life hands you lemons…
You know how the rest of the saying goes. When our situation changes, or plans get cancelled, or say there is a pandemic and EVERYTHING is cancelled, society tells us to make the best of it.
We usually feel like it’s not OK to be sad. We should look at the positives and be grateful for what we do have.
What if that doesn’t work? What if you keep dwelling on what you’ve lost, or are angry, or are feeling sorry for yourself?
When your spouse is battling cancer, cancelling plans is nothing new. Maybe it was the annual family trip, or having another child, or starting a new career. All these things got put on hold when your husband got sick.
Now, with the pandemic, there is a whole other layer of things that are getting cancelled. Perhaps you already dealt with the disappointment of the life plans you had to cancel and now you have to cancel what little plans you had left!
Grieving What You’ve Lost
Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to grieve what we’ve lost, before we can move on.
Letting yourself be disappointed or sad isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. Emotions have to be processed, before we can let them go.
It would sure be nice if we could simply “look on the bright side”, but if you are finding that difficult, it means you haven’t fully processed what you’ve lost.
Give yourself permission to grieve, feel sad, disappointed, angry. Allow the emotion to be there without resisting it or trying to change it. Notice it and acknowledge it.
Tell yourself, I’m just going to feel this for a while.
It will pass if you allow it.
Then, and only then can you move on to making lemonade.
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2 thoughts on “Making lemonade”
Nicely written, Marika. I can’t imagine what could be worse when you are dealing with this virus and you have a spouse with cancer. I’m sure there are a lot of cases like this. I hope you get the word out and get clients. Ghita
How timely and helpful , especially for families dealing with this pandemic and a spouse with the additional challenges of multi-cancers…