Hoping A Crisis Isn’t Around The Corner
As a caregiver, we know that a crisis could be just around the corner. It is the reality we live in when our spouse has a serious illness or health condition. While we may be painfully aware of this fact, we often aren’t prepared when it happens. We sometimes live in that state of hopefulness that we won’t actually have to face it. We’re secretly keeping our fingers crossed that everything will be fine.
Can’t Control The Future
The problem with hoping everything will be fine is that we can’t control the future. Hoping everything will be fine is not an effective strategy. When something does happen, despite our strongest wishes, we are not prepared. This can be even more frightening.
A Recent Family Crisis
One of my clients recently had a family crisis. In the middle of the night she was awoken to discover her child had tried to harm herself. She was in shock as she drove her kid to the emergency room. Earlier that day I had coached my client on having a powerful mantra in times of need. The one she had created for herself came to mind during the crisis. Her mantra was:
I can get through this.
As she drove to the emergency room, she just kept repeating it in her mind. Five little words… over and over again. This kept her focused and functioning when she easily could have lost it.
She told me later how happy she was that those words were fresh in her mind and ready in her time of need.
Mind On Autopilot
When we are faced with a crisis, especially one we may not be expecting, our mind will go on autopilot. If we have not prepared ourselves, where our thoughts go are often not helpful to us in the moment. We may want to argue with reality because what we are facing is just too hard to accept. Or we may get stuck in indecision, not knowing what to do.
Our mind will offer us unhelpful thoughts like:
This can’t be happening!
I don’t know what to do!
How am I going to get through this?
Oh my God, oh my God…
These thoughts keep us stuck, frozen in indecision, unable to act. Exactly the opposite of what we need to be in a crisis, right?
One Empowering Thought
Instead, if you give your mind one empowering thought, a mantra to focus on, it will keep you centered and present, able to function and take action. Something like:
I can get through this.
I can just take action.
I’ll be OK.
I’ll figure this out.
Your mind will have something to focus on, something that allows you to keep functioning and moving forward. When your mind is focused, then you will be able to take the action you need to in the moment. This one thought will set you up to be your best in a crisis.
The only requirement is this thought needs to be about YOU. Only you and how you show up is within your control. You may want to think a thought like: He will be OK. He’ll get through this. Everything will be fine. While it seems reasonable, you can’t control what happens to him or anyone outside of you. Your mantra needs to keep you focused, no matter what happens to anyone else.
Find Your Mantra
What is your mantra? If you don’t have one, pick one now. Write it down, put it in your phone. Practice it once a day. This one step will make a huge difference the next time you are faced with a crisis.
If you have a spouse with cancer or some other serious health issue, then you need to watch my free video. In just 10 short minutes, I’ll teach you the three most important things I wish I knew from the beginning about coping when your loved one is sick.
These 10 minutes will change everything!