It may seem impossible to find peace and happiness while caregiving. But I’m happy to tell you it’s not. Keep reading to learn strategies for coping with caregiving that provide immediate relief to the stress you may be experiencing. You’ll also learn how to cope as a caregiver using long-term solutions to experience more peace and happiness on this journey.
Understanding Caregiver Stress, Exhaustion, and Burnout
Let’s start with discussing why it’s essential to have caregiver coping skills: because if you don’t, it will lead to stress, which leads to exhaustion, which leads to burnout. Whether you’re just starting to experience the stress of caregiving or have been feeling fatigue and burnout for a while, you will benefit from implementing or improving your caregiver coping skills. Remember, caregiving stress is not something most of us are equipped to handle, so it requires you to adopt new strategies like the ones outlined below.
How to Cope as a Caregiver for Immediate Relief
If you are feeling stressed right now and just need some immediate relief, start with the list below. You don’t need to do them all to see a benefit. Start with one or two. The first step toward any change is recognizing that your needs are valid, too, and deserve your attention. So, give yourself permission to focus on your own needs for a little bit. You and your loved one will benefit!
- Cut Back Your List: You are probably trying to do too much, and all of it feels necessary. It’s not. Decide what is most important and focus only on those things. Let the rest go or ask for help.
- Take a Break: Give yourself permission to take a break. You are not a robot. You require rest and rejuvenation. It’s OK and even necessary to take a break to recharge. This could be a quick walk, a short nap, or a few minutes of reading.
- Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or caregiver support groups. Sharing your experiences and feelings can provide immediate emotional relief.
- Get Enough Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep. It is not uncommon to have interrupted sleep when caregiving. But this will take a toll. If you can’t sleep well through the night, consider taking 20 minutes during the day to nap or close your eyes. Lack of sleep can worsen feelings of stress and burnout.
- Move Often and Eat Well: Moving your body and eating healthy will help you maintain your energy and emotional stability. Make these things a priority as much as possible. Whatever healthy routines you currently have, keep them up! Regular physical activity can boost your mood and energy levels. Walking is a great way to get movement and can be done even in a hospital setting. Limit or avoid junk food even though it may taste good and feel comforting. It will only provide momentary relief; then, you will be left feeling awful.
- Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness activities like meditation or deep-breathing exercises. Even just a few minutes of closing your eyes and counting 10 deep, full breaths can be enough to help you relax and reset your energy.
- Delegate Tasks: People want to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s OK to be clear and specific when telling others exactly how to help you. We all need help from time to time.
- Consult a Professional: If stress and anxiety become overwhelming, consider seeking help from a caregiver coach or therapist. They can provide strategies and tools to manage your feelings effectively.
- Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that make you happy and relaxed. This could be listening to music, taking a bath, or spending time in nature.
- Stay Organized: Keep a schedule or to-do list. Knowing what to expect can help reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Coping Strategies for Caregivers to Experience Lasting Peace and Happiness
Now, let’s move on to caregiver coping strategies that offer a more long-term effect of peace and happiness even in the midst of challenging situations.
1. Happiness Is an Inside Job
In our quest for happiness, we often pin our hopes on external circumstances. While it’s undoubtedly pleasant when things go well, we don’t have to rely on external factors to experience happiness and peace.
Understand that happiness is an emotion derived from your thoughts, giving you significant influence over your emotional state at any given moment. You need not wait for happiness to land in your lap like a gift; it’s a feeling you can nurture through mindful thinking and intentional focus.
This does not mean just thinking happy thoughts will bring happiness. You can’t fool your brain that easily. But it does mean that when you start paying attention to what you are dwelling on and how it makes you feel, you can start questioning and examining those thoughts to see if they serve you.
Take these proactive steps:
- Observe your thoughts and emotions; identify your triggers and question their origins.
- Journal your thoughts daily, recognizing that you are not defined by your thoughts.
- Cultivate gratitude for current aspects of your life, appreciating small joys and daily rituals.
2. Find Acceptance Where You Are
Much of our stress arises from a desire for things to be different. Coping with caregiving and embracing acceptance becomes challenging when we constantly yearn for a life other than our own.
The crazy thing is that even when we do have a lot of the “right things,” it doesn’t mean we will be happy. I was recently talking to a woman who was caregiving for her husband and felt like she should be really happy. He was stable, they had good support, and finances were not an issue. She thought she should be happy, and yet she wasn’t.
There is a misunderstanding that if nothing is wrong, we should be happy. But the thing is, life is always 50% pain and 50% pleasure. There is never a time that doesn’t have a little of both. Sometimes, it weighs more one way than the other, but there are always aspects of both in life. It’s not supposed to be wonderful all the time.
Feeling at peace can come from being able to embrace this aspect of the human condition. It may seem weird, but the more you allow your negative emotions, the less you will get stuck in them. Neither happiness nor sadness are permanent states. If you allow them, they will be like waves crashing over you and then receding.
Take this proactive step:
- Allow your negative emotions. Notice when the emotions come up and say to yourself: “This is grief I’m feeling. It’s OK to feel it, and it will pass.” You will naturally want to resist your feelings, so it’s important to give yourself permission to feel.
3. Don’t Let Caregiving Define You
As a caregiver, your life journey persists even amid the responsibilities. It’s common for caregivers to pause their own lives unintentionally. While there may be a temporary need for this, it’s crucial to set limits and continue prioritizing personal well-being. When you don’t continue to mind your own ship, you’ll end up feeling burnt out and resentful. This means you must have at least one thing you do for YOU.
Take these proactive steps:
- Grant yourself permission to have one thing just for you. Whether it’s a daily walk or socializing with friends, prioritize self-care.
- If guilt arises, reassess your expectations. Often, guilt stems from unrealistic self-imposed standards.
I get it. Following these steps might require some tough decisions and facing emotions like guilt or overwhelm. You might need to explore unfamiliar paths, seek support from others, and acknowledge that you’re neither a robot nor a superhero. There’s a subtle blessing in caregiving – it compels you to tackle challenging questions, unveiling inner strength and resilience you might not have realized were there.
Coping with Caregiving Is Not a Solo Venture
You don’t have to go through your caregiving journey alone. As a caregiver coach for you when you’re caring for a sick spouse, I offer one-on-one guidance where we will strategize the best plan of action for your specific situation. I will provide you with practical tools, techniques, and caregiver coping skills to manage the daily challenges that come with caregiving.
Together, we will work on building resilience, managing stress, and finding balance in your life. As your coach, I’m here to walk this journey with you, offering my expertise and empathy every step of the way. So, let’s start this journey together because coping with caregiving is not a solo venture; it’s a team effort.
Schedule a free 1-hour consultation with me so we can get to know each other and see if coaching is right for you.